another weekend of staffing

As if by magic -- I had just talked with people about how staffing stresses me out because I don't have anyone to talk to and the only people I talk to all day are nurses who yell at me and then this weekend that all changed... well, not all of it, I'm still in the satellite by myself but this weekend, unlike all weekends prior, not one person yelled at me.  I couldn't be happier.  Now, this may be because all the nice people work on what would normally by my co-resident's weekend and so next weekend when I work again it will be back to the same old story, OR it could be that my experiment of saying the person's name who I'm talking to is improving everyone's self esteem and therefore making them happier. :-)  Either way, I'm happy for this weekend going smoothly.  Now I just have to get through the 5 days this week and 2 days next weekend and then I get Monday off and then start my next rotation in SICU on Tuesday.

I can't believe I only have one more week on this rotation... This year is going really fast.  I just bought plane tickets for midyear and we have had our hotel booked for awhile now... The big hanging question is where I'm going to be next year.  B got an offer from a certain retail pharmacy for a significant annual salary and a job in the OurCity south district so now I have even one more reason to want to stay on for a second year... Again, I suffer from really really really hating the uncertainty of my life situation.  I didn't know how much extra stress it really put on me until the match last spring and now it kind of just feels the same except I also have all the residency stress... last week was not a good week for me.  I have high hopes for this week but I make no promises.  I guess it's just that I am really motivated to do a second year residency  but I'm also really motivated to stay in the same city with B... He is the person that I can talk to about anything and he just listens and if I don't want to talk when I come home I can just lay down on the couch while he watches TV or whatever and he'll just put his hand on my shoulder and I feel better... having him away on rotations so much has really put a drain on me emotionally and I can't imagine another whole year away from him.  I'm just distressed by it.  Consequently, I try not to think about it too much.  Ok, enough for one post.  Suffice it to say, I'm doing ok but this month is difficult and stressing me out and I don't see next month getting any easier BUT I am awesome and capable and I will get through it all and come out better for the struggle.  

My mantra -- I am awesome.  I am capable.  I will get through this and be better for the struggle.

Feel free to use it if you wish.

Goodnight.

enjoying a lazy weekend

This week was pretty nice.  Very busy but overall nice.  I had Monday off because of the Labor Day holiday which was fabulous and then I started on my Burn rotation on Tuesday.  I would really like to be better at looking up patients in a more time efficient manner.  I am getting to work around 6-6:30am in order to be ready for rounding by 8-8:30 and we only have like 10 patients.  Granted a couple are super complicated patients but still.  It seems like I miss things everyday that I should have looked up.  And then due to the nature of the rotation and my other projects I end up not leaving until 5-6pm... that makes for some long days and one very sleepy Nikita.  Nevertheless I am learning a lot and I assume I will get better at the whole looking up patients thing.  I'm certainly going to try.

So next week is like the big scary week of September for me.  I have grand rounds final practice run through Monday at noon, real grand rounds presentation Tuesday at noon, my MUE presentation Wednesday morning at 7am, a meeting with the ACPE people at my alma mater Thursday at 9am, the SO pager Friday all day, and then I have to work the weekend. FML. Actually none of it should be too bad except I'm pretty nervous about the grand rounds presentation and I don't really like working the weekends because it can either be boring or stressful or both but rarely anything in between.  Anyway, I'm sure it will all be fine... as Ingrid Michaelson says, "all we can do is keep breathing".  That is sort of my mantra for the year I think.  All I can do is keep breathing.  Sometimes when I feel myself getting super stressed out I take a couple minutes to just breathe and try not to think and sometimes that helps.

Now I think I'll go back to doing nothing.  B and I would like to not waste today though so perhaps I'll think of something creative for us to do this afternoon so we don't feel so lame. :-)

Happy weekend everyone!

my new toy

so I finally decided on a new phone and as the fates would have it my contract was up for upgrade :-)  I have been looking at this phone for a long time and now that I have it I can say it is totally worth the hype.  I didn't get the laptop dock for it although it seems kind of cool... too expensive for the amount of time I'd use it I think.  Anyway, the phone is super fast and has a great screen and typing on it is pretty easy... overall, learning the new OS wasn't bad at all... a few tricks that didn't seem totally intuitive but after you figure a few things out everything else just comes naturally.

In addition to this cool new phone, I also was one of 20 lucky employees to get a free copy of Lexi-Comp for my phone.  Tomorrow hopefully I will get the info and get it downloaded :-)  Now all I need is my white coats to come in and I will be so legit.

I have to work this weekend which means I will have worked 12 days in a row before I get a day off... that concept is not really my favorite.  BUT, I only have to work every 3rd weekend so it isn't like it's all the time...  I'm still not convinced that I can get the clinical book done in less than like 6 hours but I'm hoping for the best... I have 4 more days to practice with someone else there so hopefully that is enough time for me to get a handle on things.

Ok, well, 5am comes awfully early so I think I'm off to bed.

Goodnight happy bloggers/readers :-)