another weekend of staffing

As if by magic -- I had just talked with people about how staffing stresses me out because I don't have anyone to talk to and the only people I talk to all day are nurses who yell at me and then this weekend that all changed... well, not all of it, I'm still in the satellite by myself but this weekend, unlike all weekends prior, not one person yelled at me.  I couldn't be happier.  Now, this may be because all the nice people work on what would normally by my co-resident's weekend and so next weekend when I work again it will be back to the same old story, OR it could be that my experiment of saying the person's name who I'm talking to is improving everyone's self esteem and therefore making them happier. :-)  Either way, I'm happy for this weekend going smoothly.  Now I just have to get through the 5 days this week and 2 days next weekend and then I get Monday off and then start my next rotation in SICU on Tuesday.

I can't believe I only have one more week on this rotation... This year is going really fast.  I just bought plane tickets for midyear and we have had our hotel booked for awhile now... The big hanging question is where I'm going to be next year.  B got an offer from a certain retail pharmacy for a significant annual salary and a job in the OurCity south district so now I have even one more reason to want to stay on for a second year... Again, I suffer from really really really hating the uncertainty of my life situation.  I didn't know how much extra stress it really put on me until the match last spring and now it kind of just feels the same except I also have all the residency stress... last week was not a good week for me.  I have high hopes for this week but I make no promises.  I guess it's just that I am really motivated to do a second year residency  but I'm also really motivated to stay in the same city with B... He is the person that I can talk to about anything and he just listens and if I don't want to talk when I come home I can just lay down on the couch while he watches TV or whatever and he'll just put his hand on my shoulder and I feel better... having him away on rotations so much has really put a drain on me emotionally and I can't imagine another whole year away from him.  I'm just distressed by it.  Consequently, I try not to think about it too much.  Ok, enough for one post.  Suffice it to say, I'm doing ok but this month is difficult and stressing me out and I don't see next month getting any easier BUT I am awesome and capable and I will get through it all and come out better for the struggle.  

My mantra -- I am awesome.  I am capable.  I will get through this and be better for the struggle.

Feel free to use it if you wish.

Goodnight.

things I should remember - a note to myself

1. You will never be able to eat more than 2 pieces of stuffed crust pizza from pizza hut

2. Stuffed crust pizza only comes in a large

3. #1 + #2 means you will eat pizza for a week if you order it

4. $9.99 for an iTunes cd x the entire discography of an artist (the decemberists currently) = approx. what you spent on the entire outfit for the wedding next weekend (minus the shoes)

5. Your sister always has the entire discography of any artist that you may want to own b/c she is always 17 steps ahead of you when it comes to the music scene (and many other things)

6. Weekends will never be long enough, just get over it

7. Ordering 2 pairs of cute shoes online in order to try them on and decide which ones to keep never works... you will always want them both - period
***see shoes below - still trying to decide which ones to keep

8. Never get involved with a Navy Seal - wives of Seals are unhappy b/c the men love the Navy more than they love the women (per Hawaii 5-0 and Criminal Minds) -- you don't really need to remember this one unless B's pending job offer includes a commitment to the armed services in which case we have a serious issue...

9. Make lists when going to the grocery store... if you don't you will always end up a) buying things you don't really need (raisinets) and b) forgetting something you do need (milk)

10. Nothing will never happen as quickly as you want because you are terribly impatient... work on that

:-)

right, where was I...

So B was making me laugh a lot and just being generally very lovable :-)  After dinner we came back and watched "Charlie Wilson's War" which was good but B fell asleep about 30 minutes into it... poor kid.

So today I needed to go and get a dress for my friend M's wedding in a couple weeks... I had bought a dress from Target but it just wasn't making me happy.  SO, I thought I'd be productive and go early to Banana Republic and beat all the "after church" traffic.  I got to the mall at 10:30am only to find out that it doesn't open until noon.  WTF?!?!?!  So I sat in Starbuck's for 1.5 hours b/c it would be such a waste of gas to drive back and forth again.

1.5 hours later I entered the mall and went up to Sephora b/c I needed to get some Bare Minerals stuff b/c I'm over liquid foundation as it always seems to make me break out and my friend N raves about said Bare Minerals... the lady at the store was super helpful and I got a great deal on some foundation, blush, "warmth", and this "veil" stuff... I wouldn't normally have bought the warmth or the veil thing but they cam free with the starter kit along with 3 brushes so that was a steal.

Banana Republic was next on the list to try and find this dress that I had seen on the website which of course they didn't have b/c it is brand new and isn't yet in stores. I hate buying dresses for this and so many other reasons.  So I found another dress which was ok and I tried it on with about a thousand cardigans but then there was this sale dress that was way better but not in my size -- they called another store and found it in my size and I went there to buy it.  I again tried on about a thousand cardigans but none did the dress justice so I just decided to use one of my pashminas as a wrap instead.  I ended up getting a $150+ dress and a $50 necklace all for less than $60 because of sales and my $30 in rewards from my Banana VISA.  Basically awesome.

Now, what wasn't so awesome was my quest for shoes.  I am still shoe-less.  I went to DSW but just wasn't having any luck.  I'll try again on Friday maybe at a different mall.  Wish me luck, I hate buying shoes almost as much as I hate buying dresses.

B is at work still so I'm catching up on Hawaii Five-O and other dvr'd shows.  He is going to stop by here before he heads back for the week but I wish he wasn't leaving... it has been far to short a weekend.  Hopefully the week won't be too long and at least I don't have to work another weekend for awhile.  Only 5 more early morning weekends as far as I know based on the calendar.  Starting in January I will be working evenings on the weekends so that should be interesting.  Good because I don't have to get up early everyday for 12 days in a row but kind of bad b/c I will be basically out of the picture as far as making any weekend plans on my on weekends.  Double edged sword but for some reason I think I'll be happier working evenings on the weekend just because my biggest thing is hating getting up early to an alarm so many days in a row.

Ok, enough for now I think.  Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekends!

another one bites the dust - as it were...

Finished another rotation on Friday.  Burn was a good month I think.  I mean, I really like critical care so it was a good time for me.  I definitely can say that critical care is "my thing" :-)  Next month I am going to be on an internal medicine team and I think I'll like that too but it isn't an ICU so I'm looking forward to identifying some of the treatment differences and such.

On another note, it is the weekend and I am super happy to be relaxing.  I watched most of the stuff on the dvr today and then when B got home from work we went to dinner at this nice Italian place that I love in celebration of our 18 month anniversary... Now, I'm not usually one to celebrate random things like an 18 month anniversary, but B is going to be out of the state for our actual anniversary in April so we thought we should take the opportunity now to celebrate :-)  It was fun and B kept making me laugh at dinner.

more later - ice cream time