so it is emailed so it is done.

Match day - a day that will live in infamy...

Ok maybe not... BUT, it was a BIG day for all of us waiting to figure out what we'll be doing for the next year or so.

So, to begin -- I am going to be a  PGY2 critical care resident at a very large and very well known academic medical center which I will not name in the attempt to keep things a little anonymous.  I am professionally very happy b/c I really loved the program and the people were really awesome and I know I will get a very different experience than I had during my PGY1.  There are way more residents overall and the whole place is just giant... I am excited to have this new adventure in pharmacy excellence.

On the less exciting side is that this means that B and I will be apart for another year and have to do the weekend commute back and forth... and I know it's just a year but it is still frustrating... In addition, this means that I won't be close to my sister either who has decided to stay near our fabulous university... I have really enjoyed living close to her over the last several years and I will miss being able to just get together with her... Also, all my friends are here... so even though we don't all hang out that often I will miss being able to just decide to go to dinner or whatever...

Mostly I'm excited but I'm also a little nervous.  I really think though that professionally this is going to be what is best for me.  When it all came down to it I knew that I could get equally great training at all the places I ranked and there is no denying that staying in the same city with B played a part... I would never choose to be away from him.  Nevertheless, the match has done its thing and I am happy to have the privilege to train in such an awesome program.

So, that's all for now I think...

goodnight

T minus 36 hours

In a mere 36 hours I should know where I'll be doing my PGY2... unless of course I don't match anywhere in which case I cry and then try to decide about scrambling vs. getting a job vs. moving to a remote tropical island and becoming a bartender and letting my hair go into dreadlocks...  all valid options I think :-)

Anyway I can't write any more about this without feeling crazy.  I'll post when I know what's up.

goodnight

update

So Friday was day 12/12 and also the last day for manipulation of rank lists... that means that somewhere out there there is a computer crunching the rank lists of every candidate and program and matching us... for the next 10 days... seriously?  Why should that take so long for a computer?  I will never understand that...  Anyway, I'm trying not to think about it b/c at this point it is all over and I cannot impact anything by worrying about it.

In the mean time -- I had my lecture last Tuesday and I felt like that went pretty well.  Now I have basically completed everything for my teaching certificate except for writing my teaching philosophy... that is harder than I thought it would be.  I have exactly 12 more patients to look at and for my data collection and I would be doing it now but my computer decided to stop letting me access work systems from home... so that sucks.  Tomorrow though I will finish.  Probably this means that I will have to stay at work really late.  That doesn't make me happy but it must be done.

So the other thing about tomorrow -- I'll start rounding with the ID team.  That I think will be a good thing.  I have been learning a lot with topic discussions and peripherally following the patients but I am excited to be on rounds again and actually see my patients.  So hopefully that will help keep me distracted from the match stuff until the 21st.

In other news - I am starting my 12 day stretch again tomorrow b/c I traded a weekend with J so that I can go to NWIN on my normal weekend to work and see Hunger Games with B before he has to leave for NM... that is going to be a very long month.  I have some thoughts about how it will be depending on where I end up next year but I'll save that for after I know.  Suffice it to say I am not terribly excited about starting 12 in a row again but actually it will only be 11 in a row b/c I'm taking PTO on Friday the 23rd so I get an extra day with B since he has to leave for NM on Saturday.  Hey, how about that?! :-)

Ok, I need to go find some dinner that isn't cereal since I've already had that for two meals today...

night kids

my recent dreams (warning: the following contains material not suitable for some - reader discretion is advised)

Now, some of you may have heard me speak of these on occasion, but seriously -- I have been having THE weirdest dreams in the past couple of weeks... although some of these are actually a bit disturbing, hopefully you may find some humor in them... maybe you won't... they are kind of creepy... I am trying to just laugh about them and not diagnose myself with any mental illness.

1. The one where I slice throats -- pretty much just like it sounds... in some sort of crazed life or death situation I am forced to slice the throats of random strangers who will surely kill me if I don't

2. The one where I kick people out of the back of a truck -- really it is like an empty ambulance or what I envision an ambulance would look like if it were empty... anyway, again in a crazy life or death manor I am necessitated to kick random strangers out of the back of the "ambulance" by prying them off the walls and then pushing/booting them out the doors... I wake up when I realize I don't know how to get the drivers kicked out the back...

3. The one where the "match" takes place in a giant showcase room/gymnasium as opposed to via email -- right... so some sadist stands at the front of this big freaking room where all the candidates presumably from the whole country are gathered and this sick lady announces each program and starts at the top of their rank list and goes through it until she gets to an available candidate... in "dream match" the odds of matching were considerably lower even than in real life and accordingly by about halfway through the process there were crying candidates everywhere as they realized that they didn't make it to the tops of the lists of places they interviewed... this dream was so improbable that I woke up feeling ridiculous even for me.

Yeah... officially my stress level has taken the last peaceful thing that I had going for me... I now wake up roughly 3-4 times a night from weird dreams only some of which I can remember beyond the feeling of overwhelming dread that I wake up with.  Not cool brain, not cool.

alright folks... I'm gonna go try and be productive for a few minutes and then maybe take a chance with my sleep cycle.

goodnight

a little bit of everything

The good:

- my last PGY2 interview went really well and more info regarding this will be blogged in 24 days
- I got my new glasses (see photo to the right)
- I have had a restful weekend (read :: nap comas) and got to see B for a couple days and even though he's gone again this month at least he's at home with his family
- the apartment is still relatively clean

The bad:
- I should have worked on my lecture this weekend and so far have not
- my month on admin when I was going to get lots of things done is almost over and I still have lots of things to do
- there are still 24 days until I know what I'm doing next year
- tomorrow is day 1 of 12
- after this month B goes to New Mexico I won't see him for 4 weeks
- I really should have been doing more with my life this month

The ugly:
- well, nothing in my life really gets to go under the heading of ugly at this point

Anyway, I feel weird about life right now... I can't wait until March 21st to find out where I'll be next year but I have a ton of stuff to get done between now and then.  On the plus side, I can see in both my new contacts and glasses so at least I have that under control :-)  I am excited about my new geek chic frames and I love that I don't have to sacrifice my vision if I want to lay off the contacts for a day.

Also, The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother make my life considerably better.

I need to be productive for at least a little bit now.

goodnight folks

day 12 of 12

Sort of... I didn't actually work today.  Yesterday I went to work early and then after residency forum I left to drive to an interview for a PGY2 program.  I got there around 9pm last night and stayed at a hotel that the program had booked for me and then had an all day interview today.  It was interesting.  After match day I'll try to
do a post about all my interviews and my overall experience with interviewing for PGY2 programs.  Until then you'll just have to imagine how things went.

I have this weekend off so that is really nice.  Tomorrow B and I are going to go give blood and then later in the evening we're going out to dinner at this new winery restaurant that I've heard good things about as a late Valentine's day celebration.  He already did a great job getting me these earrings that I was wanting as well as sending me a flowering plant on Valentine's day itself but I'm really excited about dinner too :-)

Life as a resident is pretty stressful right now.  I am trying to finish my data collection for my research project and work on a lecture that I'm giving in a couple of weeks as well as worry about where I'll end up for a PGY2... so I really want March 21st to get here quickly but I need that time to work on my research project so it is kind of a lose-lose.  Nevertheless, I am enjoying my time for the most part.  I'm on my Admin rotation right now and I am really enjoying it.  I like my preceptor and I like running around to all the various meetings.  I've worked on a couple mini-projects and they haven't been super taxing but they have been useful so that makes me happy.

I have another interview next Friday... I have to give a presentation during that one so that is a little nervous-making.  I think it will be fine but I think some appropriate anxiety is healthy.  Ok kids... that might be all for now.  I'm excited to write about the interview process from both sides but I can't right now so hopefully by the time I can I have lots of funny saved up to pack into it :-)  We'll see...  For anyone who is wishing this blog was funnier, let me tell you, I wish it was too :-P  For funnier things see the following:

http://anondoc.blogspot.com/
http://reallifeiscoming.blogspot.com/

Both of those are funny.  Hope that was helpful :-)

goodnight

Weekend 3 of 3

So I had 3 weekends off in a row because I traded with one of my co-residents so he could do some family stuff... I've really enjoyed having all the weekends off.  I kind of never want to work another weekend ever :-)  No, it really isn't that bad...

Anyway, I've just been relaxing with B this weekend...  We watched Contagion today which was pretty good and now we are watching Breaking Bad... it is a really interesting show.  I have to say, I can see why the guy might have thought making meth would be an interesting way to spend the last year or so of his life before he dies of lung cancer... I mean, if you're going to go anyway you might as well go out making a crap ton of money.  I don't think I'd do it just because with my luck I'd blow myself up and end up burned and in pain.

In other news... I need to fold the laundry now.

Later